CalicoCougar

I know i dont keep in touch with anyone much these days... and with the pandemic going on things are worse for wear on everyone. But last night.... i lost one of the most important people in my life... The week had started bad for me, as the shipping company that provides my meds lost my package. So being the selfless person he is.... was.... my dad came to stay with me and my grandma and helped me deal with finding my package and getting my medication. He spent several nights awake with me while i was in agony waiting for these meds my body depends on to survive. He kept me entertainted, distracted, and made me feel better dispite the situation... he was always like that. Always helping me or his friends with whatever they needed. Always told me that i was strong and brave, for dealing with my condition and still able to smile. But my dad had a drinking problem... and last night.. may 22nd at 8:30pm denver time.... he passed away in my arms... The day started normally, i just got

So i'm getting worse by the day. i spent 7 days in the hospital, i got out on hollows eve.. But I went in because I caught pneumonia and had Sepsis. I was nearly unconscious the whole time, as they gave me sedatives and put me on 5 different antibiotics at once.  I'm not going to lie, I almost lost the battle this time. Its... hard being alone. I feel like i'm isolated on an island where everyone else has left, and moves one without me. I'm not in a good head space. not in a good situation. and its just going to get worse from here...  I dont make suits anymore. I even draw like i used too... I'm a complete mess, but i am grateful to a few pe

Okay so i've been fighting with my health for a long while as most of you know... However I thought I was getting better as I had not been hospitalized as frequently as I was in 2016... So i stupidly thought "Alright! finally maybe I can start doing stuff again and hang out with friends, and stream and do NORMAL things that i used to do!" This was very, so very wrong.... The past three months have been utter hell for me. With constant pain, in and out of the hospital, and new problems popping up everywhere! But it seems my battle is very far from over.... I was recently Diagnosed with a rare Heart condition... yay me... so not only am i Unabl